Tuesday, January 17, 2023

How to Win the Homework Battle

 Another thing that no one tells you when you are expecting...that in 5, or 10, or 13 years, you are likely to have a homework battle.  Trust me, it is a battle no one likes.  Tears have been shed in our house--though probably mostly mine.  The thing is, the trouble in our house isn't that my son won't do his homework, it is that he won't (or, I should say, wouldn't) write it down, so he didn't remember he had it.  The moment he got in the car, guess what he didn't think about.  You got it...homework.   Worse yet, sometimes he would do it, and forget to turn it in. I wasn't checking regularly because he is otherwise pretty darned responsible (as in, almost unbelievably responsible for a 13 year old),  I didn't want to hover too much, and let's face it, I've been to 7th grade and do not want to go back.  Ever.  

Guess where I've been for the past almost entire school semester.  Back in the 7th grade, or at least in 7th grade homework.  Keep in mind, I will not do my son's homework for him, but I far will make him sit in my office and do his homework until he is finished.  Sounds like it isn't so bad.  Trust me, it is.  In the grand scheme of things, I know--there are far worse things to deal with, but right now, we're talking homework.  I've taken away every single privilege.  I have increased chores. I have enrolled him in executive functioning classes, I have given him all types of calendars, I have set reminders on all of his electronics,  I have grounded him until the end of forever, but nothing worked. 

Plain printable available here.

That is, until I asked questions and listened.  "Why do you just not remember to write down homework?"  "Why don't you remember to turn it in?"  "Do you care?"  Then, we had a long talk about the natural consequences-flunking a class, getting kicked off sports teams, not being able to take the classes he wants to next year.    He didn't want any of those consequences, so we needed a plan.  The fancy calendar was too cumbersome and too much to fill in, and he didn't always have time to get it out.   The reminders on electronics didn't work, because he actually follows the rules about having them silenced in school.  (It is not lost on me that he would follow that rule, but not do homework).   So,  we  needed something simple and easy to use.  We ditched the school's multiple folder policy--I mean, it wasn't working for him anyway.  We tried having him write down assignments in a notebook.  It mostly worked, but he inevitably missed some details.  He felt that when he was so short on time at the end of a class, he needed something ready made to fill it. So, we created a printable homework planner/tracker.  He can print off as many as he needs (we do make him write something for everyday, even if it is the date and a note that nothing was assigned).  It is simple enough, but has enough prompts for him to write down everything he needs to.  It's mind-numbingly simple, but has been a game changer for us.  It you are fighting the same battle, or just want to get someone in the habit of writing down assignments and taking responsibility for them,  you can find the printable in our Etsy Shop
You can find the Happy Daisy Homework
Planner printable here.


Here's to small wins that seem really big.  How do you handle homework in your house? 

ps--I have his full permission to write about this. 



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How to Win the Homework Battle

 Another thing that no one tells you when you are expecting...that in 5, or 10, or 13 years, you are likely to have a homework battle.  Trus...